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Monday 30 April 2012

A typical Doorknob Goswami (DG) interview on Times Wow

DG: So Mr.XYZ, are you in favour or not in favour of the proposal by the goverment

XYZ: You see Doorknob...
...

DG: India wants to know Sir...ANSWER

XYZ: Yes, I am just...

DG: Its a direct question, we are asking direct questions tonight...please answer the direct question

XYZ: If you would just let me...

DG: Lets bring our other guest in at this stage

(the other guest is a Doorknob stooge who parrots what Doorknob is pandering)

*XYZ tearing his hair out*

DG: You see sir...no one is buying your argument here...India wants to know Sir...its a simple question...you need to answer

XYZ: I've been trying to...my position is...
(scratching his eyes out by now)

DG: India is asking tonight, we have viewers writing in they are all agreeing with me...

XYZ: (decides to end niceties and answer ASAP) I am in favor of the proposal...

DG: YOU ARE AVOIDING THE QUESTION...YOU ARE AVOIDING THE QUESTION....(shaking head vigourously) PLEASE ANSWER THE QUESTION!

XYZ: I...just...did....I support the proposal

DG: (in a very patronising tone) Sir, in 1987, in the Chitagong Sahitya Samagam, you had clearly articulated a position saying that you would support the government. Why will you not take a similar unambiguous position on Times Wow tonight...India is watching.

XYZ: But..I havent changed my position..what I am saying is...

DG: I have all the papers here,tonight I have papers, if the camera can focus in for all to see. On Viewshour tonight, we are asking very direct question. This is your speech at that function.

XYZ: (completely frustrated and frothing at the mouth) I already...

DG: Answer the question Yes or no, no space for confusion on this channel. I have facts with me tonight. No one can disagree with me , its in black and white.

XYZ: (gives up) I am sorry I cannot take part in a facetitious debate like this...(leaves)

DG: (Smiling triumphantly) So Mr.XYZ has chosen to leave...HE HAS DODGED THE QUESTION...perhaps to go to another channel that will pander to his whims. that will not ask the difficult questions. We just do our jobs, we dont go around in circles, we dont obfuscate the issues, we dont pretend to know what the issues are...
if it makes people uncomfortable then so be it.

*clearly in a lighter vein and no intent to insult...not liable for legal action*